What do men really find attractive in women? Some women do seem to just have it – they just seem to know how to attract men. But what’s more important is how to attract good men who are likely to stick around. Many glib answers perhaps spring to mind about what men find attractive in women, but there is also a fair bit of research that gives us a clear idea.
What men find attractive in women
Of course different men find different women and different types of women attractive for different reasons and a long term male partner will like you, partly, for your uniqueness. I say ‘partly’ because there are actually some ‘attraction universals’ that all men everywhere find more attractive about women.
It’s not always easy being a man
Times have changed for men in the western world. Men want to feel like men in a world where many jobs can now be done equally well by men or women. Men want to feel competent, strong, clever and brave. A women who can make a man feel these things about himself will be highly attractive to him. This doesn’t mean that you have to falsely flatter a guy but rather recognize where these aspects appear in his character and mention them.
But don’t men want ‘willing’ sexy young and beautiful?
Well perhaps some men do, up to a point. But to attract a man you don’t have to have movie star looks, or instantly show you’re ready to jump all over him. In fact many men will be turned off a women who dresses too sexually all the time or who constantly flirts with his friends.
Why? Because if a man is to invest his long term resources into a serious relationship he wants to be sure his DNA is going to be passed on exclusively. If you act too sexy too much of the time it will make him feel that you are willing to be with any guy. Man like to feel exclusively chosen by a potential partner just as women do. If you are too obviously willing to jump into bed with a guy a part of him will be thinking that this is how you are generally.
What about physical universal attractors?
Just like women men look for indicators that a partner is a good genetic bet. Signs of health (and therefore good DNA) include: Lustrous hair, the classic and universally attractive 70% ration form waist to hips; meaning that waist is 70% size of hips, clear skin, good muscle tone, large eyes, smaller jaw and fuller lips. Youth is valued in women because youth is an indication of fertility. All cosmetic procedures and applications seek to enhance visual signs of fertility (high estrogen levels) such as lip gloss, eye make up, skin foundation etc.
But wait a second what if I’m not a classic young beauty?
Enhancing what you have physically
Women of any age can be highly attractive to men. Keeping fit and not being too over weight or under weight, dressing well and taking care of hygiene and grooming all contribute to your attractiveness where men are concerned but the way you look is only a part of it. To really attract a man you need to know how to make him feel great about himself. Expert flirting, showing an interest, smiling whilst holding eye contact, all show confidence. And confidence is incredibly attractive in a women.
Men like confident women
There is much talk of women being attracted to confident men but men also like women who are fun, enthusiastic, humorous and confident. Why? Because when you are confident you send out signals with the message. ‘I am sure I have something worth having. And you are lucky to know me.’ Men don’t like to be told what to do or to be totally dominated or feel controlled but they do like a woman who shows she has her own mind at the same time as being able to appreciate him.
Men like women who laugh
Men like women who laugh at especially women who laugh at their jokes (1) The research tells us that men find women who produce humor lots of humor as great as friends but they are more attracted to women who laugh at their jokes if they are looking for a romantic partner. This doesn’t mean you have to fake laugh at all his unfunnies but showing you appreciate his humor when it is funny will make you much more attractive to him.
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Hypnosis and becoming more attractive to men
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(1) Eric Bressler, a graduate student at McMaster University who is studying humor in personal attraction, discovered in a survey of 150 students that to a woman, “sense of humor” means someone who makes her laugh; to a man, a sense of humor means someone who appreciates his jokes. “Women choose men who produce humor 62 per cent of the time; conversely, men choose women who appreciate their humor 65 per cent of the time.”
Bressler also found a marked difference when he looked at different relationships: “When it comes to friendships, men like to be around women who produce humor; when it comes to sexual relationships, they only dig women who laugh at their jokes.”
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